About Cidy
| site | cidyatcidy.city (this. you are on it.) |
|---|---|
| [email protected] | |
| icq | 44 190 8821 (online most nights) |
| phone | Ask Magnum. He has it. He will give it to you. |
| best time | After 22:00, before 03:00 |
| Do not send anything to the store | |
| in person | Not at the store. Never at the store. |
| response time | Immediate |
My name is Cidy. This is my machine and this is my journal and you should not be in it. Since you are, you may as well get the facts from me instead of from somebody else.
I am thirty-four. I have worked six years at a hamburger restaurant that has my name on the roof for reasons that have nothing to do with me, which I have explained roughly thirteen thousand times and which I am going to explain again below, because nobody takes it the first time.
I am a difficult person to have in a room. I know that. I have been told it by more than one person and I have written every one of those conversations down. What none of them put in is that I am also the only person I have ever met who actually finishes what he starts, and that is worth something, and one day it is going to be worth a great deal to somebody.
| designation | Cidy |
|---|---|
| species | Reptilia, unclassified. Nobody has ever checked. |
| height | Short. Do not bring it up. |
| build | Heavyset. Greasy by trade and, I am told, by nature. |
| scales | Blue-teal, pebbled, mottled at the temples. Smooth patch, left palm (vat 3, 2012). |
| eyes | Amber-gold, slit pupil, wide-set |
| crest | Full. Sheds twice a year in one piece. Not hair. |
| headwear | Trucker cap, cream panel, burnt-orange mesh. Reads CIDY. Not a choice. |
| uniform | Olive work shirt. Name tag reads CIDY. Also not a choice. |
| employer | Cidy Burger — no relation |
| manager | Harry. Yes. Harry. |
| tenure | Six years. Two raises. Eighty-five cents. |
| habitat | Above a laundromat. Warm. Low ceiling. Suits me. |
| temperature | Cold-blooded. That is a fact about me, not a personality. |
| known associates | 1, possibly 2 |
| enemies | 1 confirmed, 1 pending |
| status | ▮ working on something |
| Field | Value | Verified by |
|---|---|---|
| Designation | Cidy | Cidy |
| Alias | The Fixer | Cidy |
| Alias (in use by others) | None. Chief. Bud. Hey. | Harry |
| Base of operations | Sublevel 4, undisclosed municipal drainage network | Cidy |
| Base of operations (cont.) | The room above the laundromat | The landlord |
| Known weaknesses | None | Cidy |
| Known weaknesses (cont.) | Damp, stairs, direct questions, the noise the pipes make at 3am | The pipes |
| Superpowers | Persistence | Cidy |
| Vehicle | 1 | Cidy |
| Vehicle (operational) | 0. Under a tarp behind the store since February. | The transmission |
| Henchmen | 0 (recruiting) | Reality |
| Nemesis | Gary (hardware store, 4th St.) | Cidy |
| Nemesis (mutual) | Pending | Gary, who has not been asked |
| Notable victories | 1 — the safe | Cidy |
| Notable victories (cont.) | 0 | The safe |
| Threat level | Extreme | Cidy |
| Threat level (assessed) | Not applicable | Baron Bravado |
| Feared by | Many | Cidy |
| Feared by (cont.) | Petey, slightly, once, in 2013 | Petey |
| Network | Extensive | Cidy |
| Network (cont.) | Magnum. Tuesdays and Thursdays. | Magnum |
| Wanted in | Two countries | Cidy |
| Wanted in (cont.) | Neither | Both countries |
Every line in this file has been verified.
On The Name
I do not own Cidy Burger. I did not name Cidy Burger. In 1987 a man named Halloran ordered a sign that was supposed to read CITY BURGER, and the sign company set the type wrong, and the quote to redo it was four hundred dollars, and he decided that four hundred dollars was four hundred dollars. Twenty-two years later I filled out an application because it was the only place hiring inside walking distance.
so, for the last time: no ownership stake, no franchise, no relation, no royalties, no say in the menu, and I cannot comp your drink. It is a typo from before I was born and I have been standing inside it for six years.
Known Associates
- Magnum. My best friend. Has driven me in every Tuesday and Thursday since my transmission went in February, and has never once asked me for gas money. He does not talk much on the drive any more. That is a situation I am aware of and am handling.
- Scalerazor. Magnum's. Two years, which I found out in 2013 by having him walk into a laundromat. Tall, quiet, listens to the end of a sentence, which almost nobody does. He has been decent to me every time we have met and I have counted the times.
- Petey. Nineteen, works the line. Opened a door at twenty to three one morning because he wanted a soda. He does not know what that means and I have never told him.
Enemies
- Gary. Hardware store, across the lot. At war with me since September 2012. He is not aware of this, which is the strongest position I have ever held over another living thing.
- Baron Bravado. Pending. A real one, with a title, who crossed a border to find me. First contact has been made. I am not going to write down how.
Elsewhere On This Machine
- The log — everything, in order, since 2011
- The complaints — six years of that building
- Media — mostly the hardware store